Leader vs. Boss: What’s the Difference?
If you Google the difference between a leader and a boss you will find countless articles and opinions about what differentiates the two. This post has a lot of the same, but from my own perspective.
When I think of a leader, I think of my dad. He would constantly encourage me to pursue whatever my heart desired and would walk me through the individual steps to get there. If I wanted to climb to the top of the playground for example, he would cheer me on, after reminding me of the risk of falling off. When I inevitably made the mistake and fell, he would help me get back up and learn from my mistake. He never told me to stay down; he never made me feel bad for messing up; instead he helped me learn from it so I could make it to the top the next time.
When I think of a boss, I think of a previous employer who didn’t care what I did or how I did it, as long as it made them look good. If I made a mistake, they merely saw it as something that made them look bad, rather than an opportunity to elevate and coach me. In their eyes, I was replaceable, just another number, a stepping stone to get them to where they wanted to be.
You see, not all bosses are leaders, but all leaders can be bosses.
Wherever you go, whatever you decide to do with your life, you will always have someone who is above you and that is unavoidable (unless you become your own boss), so you have to learn how to differentiate between who is a leader and who is a boss, and how their authority can make or break your career. Below are some examples of how I spot a leader vs. a boss.
Their charisma, and how they use it.
Both leaders and bosses tend to be quite extroverted, passionate and can naturally inspire a crowd, which makes it very hard to spot the difference between them. A leader uses their charisma to ensure that the voices of their team are heard; sparking real change within their industry. Comparatively, a boss uses their charisma to captivate their peers and superiors, ensuring that they are perceived as being a leader, when the result is that they merely display authority; they utilize their ability to say the right things to simply create an illusion of leadership. Watch for when they let their guard down; a boss does not care to sway people that aren’t a direct link to elevating their career.
Watch for the actions to support their words.
When a leader sets expectations or creates a plan, there is very clear follow through to showcase that they meant what they said. They are regularly checking in, holding themselves to the same (if not higher) standards as they hold you and communicate clearly with everyone involved. A boss on the other hand, speaks to what the plan and goals are, then disappears when it’s time to put the work in to make it happen. Typically, the next time you see them involved with the project is when their boss (or someone of importance, for example, a client) is there to review the results. A boss will typically take credit for “inspiring the team” and the overall result, even if they didn’t lift a finger. An example would be comparing Jeff Bezos to Irene Rosenfeld, CEO of Kraft Foods.
How they react to feedback.
Depending on the day, any one of us could react poorly to receiving negative feedback; we are all human and easily become defensive when our abilities are in question. Because of this, you need to be pretty self aware to ensure that you are taking the information and learning from it, rather than rejecting the insight. Leaders will actively ask for feedback from their peers and their team, in addition to embracing criticism. They are engaged and take your opinions seriously; attempting to improve themselves every step of the way. A boss will typically be more reactive; lashing out at your weaknesses to redirect the focus from them to you. If they aren’t reactive, they will brush off the conversation and challenge its relevance to the task you are working on.
Being a boss and being a leader are not the same; no matter how interchangeable the terms are.
When I think of someone who is both a leader and a boss, I think of my previous mentor (who is now a close friend of mine.) She saw a spark in me when I applied for Assistant Manager, a role I wasn’t fully trained for, and she decided that the spark was worth her time and energy. She invested in me, demonstrating empathy, patience and kindness while ensuring that her expectations were being met. She wasn’t passive by any means; she made sure to call me out on my mistakes and held me to the same standard she held herself to. Because of her support, I was able to grow into the person I am today and achieve my own goals and ambitions, in addition to elevating her and her team. You see, a leader is someone who sees you as you are; a person with individual goals, untapped potential and most importantly someone worth investing in. A boss is someone who sees you as a stepping stone to use to achieve their goal. Find a manager you trust as a leader and you will find yourself much better off in your career and personal life.